no excuses .
the causes of my defeat .
my mistake , my fault , my bad .

so , pardon me and allow me to pour everything out here.
ive been keeping it inside me and trying to keep my cool.

the day started with me ben yuanfeng and xueru.
we took bus 80 down to klassic(the tournament venue).

had a few games with the guys .
cant really find my accuracy .
worried, of course .

next thing i know is
im facing Kenneth Ang.
my first group match.
is it a dream come true ? or what .

i told myself, yes, ive been waiting for this moment.
i wanna thrash him, i wont lose him at least.

so it started , he won the lag, which means he gets to break first.
nice break , he cleared until the 7th ball.
if im not wrong, i potted the 7th ball and missed the 8th.
it was a giveaway game. i could've won easily.
so , 1-0 to Kenneth.

next rack, i made a mistake, he foxed 2-9.
2-0 to Kenneth. simply quick and easy.
last rack , my last hope of reviving.
yup , for once i thought im on luck.
he missed the 9 , i got a fantastic chance to make it 2-1.
yes i potted the 9.

BUT . bad control of the cue ball, cue ball potted.
end of first race to 3. Kenneth won 3-0.

frustrated. the feeling i was getting after the first match.
i couldnt find the feeling. the pocket were real small.
i tried to be calm, i told myself, just win the last 3 matches.

next, against Jeremy Tan.
first rack, i missed the 9, he potted. 1-0 to Jeremy.
next rack, i won. 1-1.

third rack, which seems to be the deciding rack.
i missed the 9, potted the cue ball.
Jeremy seems to lead 2-1 for sure.
BUT , he pushed away the 9 Ball without my consent.
after some discussions, its decided that the rack was mine.
so , i lead. 2-1.

4th rack.
my dream rack. i break-cleared .
i kept my cool, and i did it.
my confidence went up with that.
3-1. i won.

next match. me against Lionel Koh.
i watched him play against other contestants.
and i knew i cld beat him.
i felt relaxed, did my job.
3-0. i won.

deciding fixture.
Xu Shunming vs Augustine Tan.
it REALLY seems to be the deciding fixture for a moment(you'll know why later).
it was a tight contest. he was accurate, i panicked.
1-0 to Augustine.
2-0 to Augustine.
1-2 to Shunming.
2-2 to Shunming.
3-2 to .. Shunming.

yup, i thought ive qualified.
keyword , THOUGHT .
i smiled to ben/yuanfeng/xueru.
i suddenly felt so happy and relieved.
my first tournament, yes im through.

next thing i knew, the group was not decided YET .
the real deciding fixture.
Augustine Tan vs Lionel Koh.
Conclusion ?
if Augustine wins at ANY score, he qualifies and im out.
if Lionel Koh wins at ANY score, i qualify and Augustine's out.

and i knew im out at that very moment.
i really THANK everybody that tried to console me.
telling me that maybe Lionel will win Augustine.
like ive predicted, Augustine won 3-0.
im out.

i thought over and over and over and over again.
what went wrong ?
it was my first match against Kenneth Ang.
how did I miss the 8 ball , how cld i not control my cue ball ?
mistakes, mistakes.
i cant believe, the guy i hated most, had kicked me out of the tournament.

he tried to be nice with me.
but i dont know if its sarcastic, or really he's nice.
i feel , nope.

my first tournament, my first defeat.
probably my last tournament as well.
devastated .
almost broke down at ssc.
i didnt .
but i still feel pain deep down inside of me.
i need a break . i need one .

still considering giving up pool after this defeat.
probably, probably not.
depends .

thanks for ALL that tried to console me.
but im still having this sour feeling inside of me.
i cant explain, its like my near 3 years of hard work went down the drain.

let me be, let me try to overcome this two big words hanging in my heart.
"i lost"

MING -